On April 8th, 2019, I was on a hike with some friends and was talking to them about my frustrations with the dating scene and how I was going to approach it with a different mindset. I had been on apps like Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel and Match etc.. and it was hard finding guys that matched up with my standards and who I was also attracted to on multiple levels. I was tired of the games and indecisiveness and having expectations that would ultimately get unmet so I had a new game plan and mindset to help shift some of my frustrations.
My new philosophy was to approach dating like I had a terminal illness. I wasn’t going to have any expectations. I was going to live in the moment and act like any day could be my last so why not just be bold and have nothing to lose? Even though I was tired of online dating, I decided to give it one last shot.
So the day after my hike on April 9th, I decided to reactivate my Catholic Match account which I had active off and on for about 10 years but now I was going to activate it for just 1 month to see if maybe this time, I would find someone worth dating and who also shared my faith. I removed all location filters from my search and set it to the entire world. I made sure that all non-negotiables were included in my filters:
- Someone who believes in all of the Church’s teachings (especially the chastity/no sex before marriage one…lol you won’t find too many guys up for that these days ) 🤣
- Attends church at least weekly
- Within 5-7 years of my age
- At least 6’0”
- Never married
- Doesn’t have kids but wants to have them someday
- Non-smoker
- Gainfully employed
- Athletic build
- Works out a few times a week and maintains a healthy lifestyle
Then I searched through the profiles to see who might match some other qualities I was looking for:
- Loves sports
- Loves to travel
- Handsome
- Family-oriented
- Has shared hobbies that align with some of my interests like photography or dance
- Has passions that I could learn about and explore
- Maybe has a different ethnicity from me which would have been a plus since I love learning about new cultures but this wasn’t a necessity
- Uses his talents for a higher purpose or volunteers his time for a worthy cause was always something I was looking for and would be a major plus
- Someone I could connect with physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually
I didn’t have a set living preference and was willing to relocate wherever even if that meant moving across the country to be away from my family…but my dream in the back of my mind was always to one day live near water or the beach.
Out of my entire search that day, there were only 2 guys I messaged…one of them being Joey mainly because he said he was a complete goofball in his profile and I love a good sense of humor and being silly myself.
He met every single one of my non-negotiables and even had a really diverse background being 50% Filipino, 25% Dominican and 25% Portuguese which I loved. His parents were still married and were examples of the marriage he was looking for which also resonated with me. Joey was using his talents in music ministry to serve the church and I loved that as well.
He even listed bonuses in his profile like being neat and organized and good with his finances. And to top everything off, he lived in paradise…about 1 mile from the beach. He also was searching for someone who desired to grow stronger in their faith.
Even though he wrote back to me that same day on April 9th, I didn’t see his message until 3 days later when I logged back into my account. He thinks I was just making him wait, but I really just didn’t think much about it until the weekend came and I decided to check my messages again. I didn’t have any expectations so I sent my messages and got on with my life.
After our first text exchange on April 12th, 2019, I knew he was someone I wanted in my life and now my day doesn’t feel complete without talking to my best friend. ❤️
Despite being separated by 959 miles and having to navigate dating long-distance amid a global pandemic, amongst other ups and downs, I’m so happy that I decided to “let go and let God.” Tomorrow isn’t a given for any of us and I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that living each day as if it’s your last can open up a whole world of possibilities.
xoxo,
Hi there! I’m Maria and the creator of this blog. I’m a Fitness Instructor, Multimedia Producer, and Travel Photographer focused on helping women get in shape physically through fun and effective workouts and spiritually through faith-based reflections. Let’s get Fit4Paradise together!